I Do It

We have decided that we need a little shift in how things are done around here. We have fallen into a slump where even though I know the right way to do things, we have chosen to do the easy thing. Since he had a voice, Marcus has always been the kid announcing, "I do it!" He is always eager to learn a new skill and show off his independence in the form of doing things for himself or for other people. When it comes to Will, I do it. Or Greg does it. Or even Marcus does it. We let Will slide because it is the easy thing to do. He plays the part of the baby of the family well, desiring that everyone take care of him. While Marcus is off doing things for himself and mastering his skills, Greg and I are left with the free time to just go ahead and do it for Will. In the short term, this works out well. It is faster. Will is happy to bypass the frustration of trying something new. We all skip out on the temper tantrum that is sure to come about 2 seconds after Will becomes frustrated. Stuff gets done in a timely manner.

And we just let it all happen. Despite the fact that we all know in the long run, everyone is going to benefit more by Will learning some skills for himself.

I'm not talking about anything super complicated. (Hey, Will, is my checkbook balanced yet??) We are focusing having him follow more directions and quizzing him on routines in our household. (It is time for dinner. What do we have to do before we eat? Right, wash our hands.) Mostly though, we aren't letting him slide as much and teaching him skills to last a lifetime.

For example, before we head out anywhere the kids have to use the potty. Marcus runs in there, does his business, does a decent job of washing and drying his hands, and then he is off getting his shoes. Normally that would be followed by Will standing by the potty, me (or Greg) pulling down his pants for him, putting the potty seat on the potty for him, setting him on the potty, getting him off the potty, pulling up his underwear, pulling up his pants, flushing, placing him on the step stool, and pretty much washing and drying his hands for him. It is just faster that way. That is no more. He still needs help getting on and off the potty and some assistance with the hand washing, but other than that, he just needs some verbal reminders on what to do next.

It's all going pretty well and it makes me feel good that by the time he is 18, I won't have to dress him anymore. There have definitely been some temper tantrums when he has discovered that everyone around here isn't going to do everything for him anymore. There have been lots of times when we have to assure him that he can do it, that he just needs to take a deep breath and think. He is so excited when he is able to do something on his own and I am so excited that I am teaching him the skills. Then there was that little hang up the yesterday when I asked Will what we should put on first. Marcus said in a singsong voice, "I don't think that's right." Will was happy with his decision though.