We had information overload this weekend. At least I did. Found out last week that the DNA test had been done and have been waiting for the results, know they weren't supposed to show up for another week. Stupid me forgot to get the mail on Saturday but checked Sunday. And there it was!
Everything is good to go! The lab confirmed that they are 99.74% sure that the woman who gave our little boy up for adoption is his biological mother. We also got some information on the bio mother, including a photo of her holding Marcus. I cant even begin to imagine how difficult that moment was for her, to be holding this little boy of her's in her arms that didn't even know who she was, and knowing it was the last time she would ever see him. I cant interpret the look on her face but it is clear that there is not even a twinge of happiness or joy present. I look at that picture and look right past Marcus and right to this woman whose life, culture, history... everything... is so different than mine. I want to thank her or make her promises but even if she could understand my words, my words would never be enough. She is making the most incredible sacrifice. Her biggest loss is my biggest gain.
Looking at this woman, even more prominent than her brightly colored patterned blouse, is her long face and high cheek bones. After combing the DNA forms farther I was able to locate in what area of Guatemala she is from. The area is a concentration of all people and all things of Mayan decent. I spent all Sunday morning reading and reading about the place, the people, the giant market days they have there, and how rooted everyone is in their beliefs and culture.
I minored in Anthropology when I was in college. I have always been interested in the different ways that people live, particularly in cultures and beliefs that are so different from what I am submerged in. Most of my cultural studies in college were focused on tribes in Africa, a secret passion of mine that life has distracted me from. I feel like suddenly I have this free pass to learn all about a whole new culture now. Most importantly, I feel like everything I learn about this place and its people is something I learn about my son and who he is deep inside.
But enough of my being philosophical, on to me being insanely excited! The DNA test results mean that we can move full speed ahead in our plans to visit. I'm not sure if I ever made this clear, but during our trip we will get to spend 24 hours a day with our son. When we arrive he will be brought to us at our hotel. We will feed, clothe, play, and love him. Just Greg and I. Then when our trip is coming to an end his foster mother will come back and have to pry him from our arms. We have hotel reservations already made for mid-September and tonight we will be making our plane reservations! I tried all weekend to imagine what it will be like when I get to hold my son for the first time. I cant do it. I have no clue what to expect on this next leg of our journey.