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Thursday, May 02, 2013

25 Things

Remember when I used to blog more than twice a year? Yeah... that was fun. Speaking of fun, isn't fun to read about all the ridiculous things we as parents have said recently that we never ever would have crossed our lips prior to having kids? Below is the latest list.

For past "things", follow these links.


326. You've lost your cheese privileges.
327. Don't pee on your cape.
328. We don't use The Force at the table.
329. Who put these pretzel crumbs in my cleavage?
330. Did you show Linda your weasel?
331. Are you yelling at the baby in the dishwasher?
332. I've got boogers up my nose and I don't think they're mine.
333. Are you rubbing your penis on it to claim it as yours?
334. How does it feel to have grease up your ass crack?
335. You're going to be the first ninja ever to end up in time out.
336. Are you putting corn in your belly button?
337. You guys are awfully flinchy for ninjas.
338. I'm pretty sure that the Jedi who ends up on the ground being tickled is the loser.
339. Ooo! That does look fun, but the lint trap for the dryer isn't a toy.
340. You respect your brother's penis.
341. He was mad because I gave him oranges for lunch and no ketchup to dip them in.
342. I hate it when your son is sitting on the toilet wearing nothing but a Santa hat and you don't have your camera.
343. I can't believe I had to yell at you for putting a lollipop between your toes.
344. Sorry Batman, we don't need any help with the dishes.
345. Whoa! You almost got your eyeball in the toilet!
346. I like your poo poo!
347. Don't drive a recycling truck on your brother.
348. Boogers are not snack food.
349. Go to your room. I don't want your penis in my kitchen.

Apparently this was an ongoing issue because...

350. When you have a house you can have your penis in the kitchen as much as you want, but this is my kitchen and I don't allow penises in it.