25 Things

The latest additions to our list of "Things I Never Said Until I Had Kids":

#1-25
#26-50
#51-75
#76-100
#101-125
#126-150
#151-175


176. I don't think Grammy drives a pimped-out ambulance.
177. I think it's against health code regulations to make popcorn without underwear on.
178. Don't smell the pee on your fingers.
179. That's not relevant to your pooping.
180. Are those chunks from your mouth or from your milk?
181. Stop smelling your pants.
182. I put anise on his fingers and I think he liked the taste.
183. You can't pee together unless both parties agree.
184. I don't think you need to be growling while you poop.
185. You should've closed your face-holes. That was just asking for trouble.
186. We don't play with pretend guys at the table.
187. I don't know if you're supposed to French your Fun Dip.
188. Don't use the drill in your ear.
189. Cowboys do not swing snakes.
190. Do not take pictures of me peeing.
191. I hope that eggplant is not on my TV.
192. Stop giggling and put your pants on.
193. That's quite a greeting: to be met by a lion with two pieces of poop.
194. I didn't say she was a monkey. I said she was SHAVING a monkey.
195. The next time you smell some one's butt, you're going to timeout.
196. We might need to glue your balls down again.
197. Green peppers usually don't have faces.
198. Maybe someday you'll get to be a guy on a shirt.
199. Nobody wants to play with a sad loser... and I mean that affectionately.
200. You don't need to touch the naked lady.