Things I Never Said Until I had Kids

If you've been reading my blog for awhile, you will remember our ever growing list of "Things I Never Said Until I had Kids". You can find all the previous posts by going back to the last one here. And now for the latest 25 Things I (or Greg) Never Said Until I (he) had Kids.

126. He's not mad. He just has a moustache.
127. Do not kiss the bathroom.
128. You tooted soup?
129. Why don't you take your clothes off first and then go hide in the closet?
130. Your spoon is not a moustache.
131. If you pulled it out of your butt, you don't eat it.
132. Would you like it if someone put a cash register in you face?
133. Quit putting garbage between your toes.
134. It is so nice to have this special time together while the kids are pooping.
135. We do not stick choo choos in your brother's butt.
136. He was flinging his bacon at Marcus. He didn't deserve to have it.
137. I don't want to live in a world where I have to be sorry for bubbles.
138. If you don't like it, you can learn to wipe your own butt.
139. You did a good job: you peed all the way up to your nipples.
140. I can't think of a single reason to stand on a sandwich.
141. Please stop dipping your banana in the ranch dressing.
142. It would be really nice if we could just give them some rawhide and they could go off in the corner and chew it for an hour.
143. Please don't french kiss the dog.
144. You can't say "All Done" while you're still peeing.
145. Your toot sensor is much too keen.
146. I'm not going to put applesauce on your shrimp Alfredo.
147. Don't chew on your eye patch.
148. Maybe he was peeing faster than the speed of sound.
149. I love you, Mr. Cheese Mittens.
150. Bye bye, poopies. Have a good trip, poopies.