25 more Things... again

Yet another 25 Things I Never Said Until I Had Kids - a list of phrases that Greg and I have actually muttered in our household since becoming parents. For the previous lists, click here, here, here, and here.

101. What did you think was going to happen when you stuck your face in the dog's butt?
102. Only poopers get M's.
103. I know you've got Santa's kinky balls, but that's no excuse for banging elephants.
104. Santa would never bring yellow presents to a kid who doesn't eat pizza.
105. You stole my jingly booty!
106. It's very important to keep your hands off your brother's ho.
107. We're not dusting Mommy's bras.
108. Get your Hot Pocket off your head.
109. We eat plate food, not butt food.
110. Let me finish loading up this toothbrush and then I'll do the chicken dance.
111. It's dark outside, but there's still poop out there.
112. If you freak out, I'm going to pee on you.
113. That's not a snake, it's just cheese.
114. You could have special animals, too, if you didn't eat them.
115. Pooping is not a competition.
116. Put your underwear on so we can play.
117. I was just playing the bum drum and didn't feel any lumps.
118. I don't think you should be drinking run-off from your brother's head.
119. You are not an authorized participant in this pooping process.
120. Don't talk with your mouth full. Unless you are on fire.
121. Do not drop kick your monkey.
122. That's a maraca, not Barack Obama.
123. Oh my goodness: dripples!
124. You should sing "Happy Birthday" to your Hot Pocket.
125. Close your eyes and think of your big girl with purple hair.