gkline.com

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Monday, February 18, 2008

25 (more) Things

A few months ago I posted about a list that Greg and I had started: Things I Never Said Until I Had Kids. Welcome to part two of the list. To view that first 25 things, go here.

(More) Things I Never Said Until I Had Kids:
26. Your hair has to look nice for your friends in case they are gay.
27. That's it! You're done with the eyeballs!
28. If you don't use Mommy's legs correctly I'm putting them away!
29. Let's put the blocks away so we can go in your room where it smells better.
30. Don't close your brother in the oven.
31. Have you ever been this fascinated while you pooped?
32. We don't yell at our bananas.
33. You're flying and my face is being ripped off.
34. If you touch the mirror one more time I'm taking your monkey.
35. Just because it's in his ass doesn't mean that he is playing with it.
36. You cannot stand in the toilet.
37. Don't lick the gas pump.
38. Why are you closing the gate with your tongue?
39. I don't think you can hold a car while riding a zebra.
40. There is no point in throwing a tantrum about gravity.
41. Hold on to your penis so your brother doesn't get it.
42. Next time you do something I don't want you to do, I'm going to poke YOU in the boob.
43. You don't get applause until you go pee-pee.
44. Turtles and dinosaur boat captains do not get along.
45. Now that's some good looking poop if I've ever seen some!
46. You're the only person I know who can read and ride a zebra at the same time.
47. Hold on. I have to snap your crotch.
48. You either vacuum with a smile on your face or you don't vacuum at all.
49. No banging, even when your hands are padded.
50. You are really going to cry when I put you in the car and take your coupons.

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4 Comments:
At 9:01 AM, Blogger cara said...

hee hee, those are funny. especially when taken out of context

 
At 9:03 AM, Blogger DrDrama said...

ROTFLMAO, these are awesome!

 
At 9:36 AM, Anonymous Erin said...

I vote for not vacuuming at all. I just don't think I can bring myself to do it with a smile on my face. :)

 
At 10:11 AM, Blogger jen said...

I have one...."Eeeew! His penis almost touched me!" And that came from my husband.

 

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