25 More Things

Yep, here it is. Another 25 Things I Never Said Until I Had Kids - a list of phrases that Greg and I have actually muttered in our household since becoming parents. For the previous lists, click here, here, and here.

76. You don't throw frogs at people when they are eating.
77. If you hit Mommy's computer one more time, I'm going to... do something that will make you wish you hadn't.
78. If you hammer your brother again you're in timeout.
79. That's a watermelon, not Daddy.
80. As soon as I locate your hands in these cheese mittens, you're cleaning up the floor.
81. No pooping in the dining room. You are going to need to go to the kitchen to do that.
82. Don't throw turkeys at her while she's cooking.
83. You lost your sandwich because you thought it was an airplane.
84. Do not put fire equipment in your mouth. Unless you work for the circus. Which you don't.
85. Yeah, that looks like a potty but it's actually a gravy boat.
86. I'll have one of my lactating friends come over and shoot him in the face with it.
87. Watch out or you're going to get pee pee on your head.
88. You probably shouldn't blow your nose in a zebra.
89. Dinner is ready as soon as everyone has pants on.
90. My goodness. You smacked your face with a toilet.
91. Mommy will help you in a minute. Right now I am on the phone and holding an egg.
92. Let the poopies out!
93. I was going to say, he didn't even lick mine much today.
94. They have to be hooking up because no woman would voluntarily take a man's monkey to a dog show.
95. Is this better than pooping on a log?
96. Your penis isn't yellow. Your penis is creamy just like the rest of you.
97. Oh my goodness! You guys are a naked-boy choo choo!
98. Did you just fart out of your mouth?
99. If you continue to be mean to your brother you'll be sitting up here with the produce.
100. Must have been a rough poop: it gave you a bloody nose.