25 Things

And here it is again, the next 25 things we never said until we had kids. To check out the previous lists, follow the links back from here. Greg and I just started a new list of things we never heard someone say until our kids said them. It will probably be a long while before you get to enjoy it, but it is something to look forward to. Until then, enjoy this list of things I never said until I had kids, and I assure you that each and every one of these things made perfect sense when Greg or I said them:

151. You did it! And I didn't even have to turn into a cannibal!
152. You can leave your clothes on when we go outside.
153. It's been a long time since we sniffed butts.
154. Sometimes I wish the Bicycle Chickens would come.
155. Did you know you have glitter on your penis?
156. Your brain looks exactly like a Spider Man chair.
157. That's a crazy way to ride a zebra.
158. If you swing like a monkey, you're going to need to poop like one.
159. This is the most uncomfortable squirrel I've ever ridden.
160. Get your face off the cheese.
161. That's the best head-backing ever.
162. Okay. Let's turn into naked scary monsters.
163. Don't let the dog eat Mrs. Pteranodon.
164. You can't wash your penis with lizards in your hands.
165. Are you pooping and playing drums at the same time?
166. There's no better entrance to a party than being delivered by scavenger birds.
167. Don't drink that! Your butt was in there!
168. You're the saddest boy I've ever seen holding lizards.
169. Do not stick baby Steelers in the faucet.
170. The table or your mouth: those are the only places a banana goes.
171. You got scratched by a waffle?
172. Soccer is not a snack food.
173. I wouldn't have to tickle you if you didn't pee on your butt.
174. That's not a bug; it's a sheep with a bug on its head.
175. Ahhh! You're flooding the bathroom with a hot snake!