25 Things

Once again, on to more things I never said until I had kids. For past links, follow these links.

#1-25
#26-50
#51-75
#76-100
#101-125
#126-150
#151-175
#176-200
#201-225
#226-250
#251-275

276. Did you just fart on my chips?
277. No ninjas at the dinner table.
278. Does it have a pickle on it? Then put it on.
279. You don't need to eat my chest hair.
280. Quit smelling it and wipe your eyes.
281. Can I have the remote and a Muslim to chew on?
282. We don't need to sing about your scrotum.
283. He is using the tail as butt floss.
284. Do you want your face to melt off?
285. No wonder you got broccoli on your head.
286. It's "Hakuna Matata", not "Avocado Cello".
287. You don't sit on the toilet and swing your pants around your head.
288. There are no swords coming out of your butt.
289. You don't get up and and walk around in the middle of pooping.
290. Now you have a table stuck on your head.
291. You're gonna get your tongue stuck in there.
292. Who's butt was that?
293. You have meatball in your ear.
294. It is just a regular scented butt.
295. If Jerrod had herpes, would you want that too?
296. I don't think there will be any killing at this birthday party.
297. I should never have to pull spoons out of my butt.
298. I sold some of your poop stains.
299. Whoa! Look at that furry tower of legs!
300. Let's stay out of the dishwasher.