25 Things

Check out our latest list of 25 Things I Never Said Until I Had Kids. To see the rest of the list, follow the links.

#1-25
#26-50
#51-75
#76-100
#101-125
#126-150
#151-175
#176-200

201. Go tell Marcus you're sorry you took his stinky.
202. That's a potty, not a drum.
203. Don't tell your brother to eat your finger.
204. ZIP IT! IT'S MOMMY'S CHOCOLATE TIME!!
205. Putting people in your mouth is usually a bad decision.
206. Glasses that cool shouldn't be on such an ugly face.
207. Those aren't wings. It's bok choi.
208. Peeing first carries different responsibilities. Perhaps you're not prepared to handle that.
209. Put your ugganut down and get in here!
210. It doesn't matter how you feel, you still have to race.
211. What are you doing? I already Vaselined you.
212. If you didn't want to be tickled then you shouldn't have painted your arms.
213. You can't see my bone, it's buried under the yumminess.
214. You hit yourself in the head with a trashcan?
215. Don't swat bugs with no pants on.
216. Jabbing a lizard in your boo-boo is probably going to make it hurt more.
217. I'm shaving a monkey.
218. Stop trying to break your neck.
219. I do NOT have fish nipples.
220. We can't roll down the windows because the dead people might get in.
221. Does it smell like Jesus?
222. If you put green balls in your mouth, you're going to get sick. Just ask any hooker.
223. Don't suck on your broccoli.
224. It's YOUR butt. YOU scrub it.
225. You don't want to be hugging Mommy with wonky pants.