Staying Sane
I have come to realize that staying sane during this process is a complete impossibility. Today I am okay. Most days I can't even think straight. I try not to think too much about the adoption but that is the only thing on my mind. Last week I was really sad, so sad that I couldn't even write about it. I didn't really want people asking me questions, talking about the adoption, telling me that I could talk to them, which is exactly what I am sure everyone who reads this would have said. I would have done the same thing to a friend going through it all. I just wanted it to pass and knew that it would. No one has any idea what it is like unless they have been through it. And even if they have been through it I don't know if there are really any words that would make it better. I have faith that Marcus is getting great care, that he is being well loved and well feed. However, my heart aches to know that someone else is doing those things when I think it should be Greg and me.
No more news. We are still waiting for the DNA authorization. I can't think about it much because it will only make me mad. Someone on a message board I was reading said that you can't really compare your adoption to anyone else's because everyone's is different. That doesn't keep me from doing it though. On the one message board the girl fretted and complained about her DNA authorization taking forever. She had the test authorized and completed in 9 weeks. This is week 10 for us and we haven't even gotten the authorization. Our case worker said we should have case updates this week and already I am imagining my relief when I see the test has been authorized, at least I hope I see that.
Greg and I have been involved in tons of activities to help keep our insanity at a mild level. Here are a few of the highlights:
1) I have been reading this incredible book, Born in Our Hearts. I recommend it to anyone who has ever been touched by adoption. It is a collection of short essays written from every aspect of adoption - parents, adoptees, birth mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters of adopted siblings, grandparents... It is so easy to read since each essay is only a couple of pages. It is filled with miracles, heartaches, and joy. In one essay I read over the weekend, the author mentioned that she didn't choose adoption, but like most parents of adopted children will tell you, adoption choose them. When I think back to all the influences in my life that have lead me down this road, I truly believe that. It was the best decision I didn't have to make!
2) Greg and I took a trip to Babies R Us to test drive a couple of strollers. I have been in love with this one particular stroller for awhile and I think we are going to go with it. It was mostly fun seeing Greg look at each stroller, talking about babies, and being excited about something that didn't involve computers or Steelers.
3) We bought a couple sets of crib sheets and a dust ruffle. The only sheets that I liked were at Babies R Us and they were pretty much the only thing on my registry there. I figured we should just pick them up and eliminate the registry there. (My other registries are at Target and Wal-Mart, since I know all of you want to buy Marcus things!) I told Greg that all we need now is a crib... and a car seat and diapers and wipes... and a baby.
4) I have been making a Life Book. I think I might have mentioned it before. Basically it is a scrapbook for Marcus that tells the story of how he came to us. It is a lot of work but I cant wait for it to be done and he gets to see it. I don't know if it will truly ever be done though. I may just continue to add things to it as he grows and achieves things.
5) Greg and I might take a trip to Kennywood this week. I told him we better go because this is likely our last chance to ride all the roller coasters until we throw up until Marcus is at least as big as Jeeters. Besides, there is nothing like Potato Patch Fries and being nauseous to make you excited about your expanding family.
6) Greg painted the drawers for the dresser that is going to be in Marcus's room. It was a wood finish and he is going to paint the whole thing white to match the rest of the furniture (that we don't have yet).
No more news. We are still waiting for the DNA authorization. I can't think about it much because it will only make me mad. Someone on a message board I was reading said that you can't really compare your adoption to anyone else's because everyone's is different. That doesn't keep me from doing it though. On the one message board the girl fretted and complained about her DNA authorization taking forever. She had the test authorized and completed in 9 weeks. This is week 10 for us and we haven't even gotten the authorization. Our case worker said we should have case updates this week and already I am imagining my relief when I see the test has been authorized, at least I hope I see that.
Greg and I have been involved in tons of activities to help keep our insanity at a mild level. Here are a few of the highlights:
1) I have been reading this incredible book, Born in Our Hearts. I recommend it to anyone who has ever been touched by adoption. It is a collection of short essays written from every aspect of adoption - parents, adoptees, birth mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters of adopted siblings, grandparents... It is so easy to read since each essay is only a couple of pages. It is filled with miracles, heartaches, and joy. In one essay I read over the weekend, the author mentioned that she didn't choose adoption, but like most parents of adopted children will tell you, adoption choose them. When I think back to all the influences in my life that have lead me down this road, I truly believe that. It was the best decision I didn't have to make!
2) Greg and I took a trip to Babies R Us to test drive a couple of strollers. I have been in love with this one particular stroller for awhile and I think we are going to go with it. It was mostly fun seeing Greg look at each stroller, talking about babies, and being excited about something that didn't involve computers or Steelers.
3) We bought a couple sets of crib sheets and a dust ruffle. The only sheets that I liked were at Babies R Us and they were pretty much the only thing on my registry there. I figured we should just pick them up and eliminate the registry there. (My other registries are at Target and Wal-Mart, since I know all of you want to buy Marcus things!) I told Greg that all we need now is a crib... and a car seat and diapers and wipes... and a baby.
4) I have been making a Life Book. I think I might have mentioned it before. Basically it is a scrapbook for Marcus that tells the story of how he came to us. It is a lot of work but I cant wait for it to be done and he gets to see it. I don't know if it will truly ever be done though. I may just continue to add things to it as he grows and achieves things.
5) Greg and I might take a trip to Kennywood this week. I told him we better go because this is likely our last chance to ride all the roller coasters until we throw up until Marcus is at least as big as Jeeters. Besides, there is nothing like Potato Patch Fries and being nauseous to make you excited about your expanding family.
6) Greg painted the drawers for the dresser that is going to be in Marcus's room. It was a wood finish and he is going to paint the whole thing white to match the rest of the furniture (that we don't have yet).
posted by Annie and Greg @ 9:33 AM
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