One Down, a Million to Go
After 6 months at home with Marcus, I was headed back to work today. I need to be at work much earlier than Greg so the plan is that he takes Marcus to "school" in the morning and then, since I am done earlier, I pick him up. I got up this morning, ready to go, and had a little time to kill. I was feeling oddly calm, ready to go, and start this new chapter of my life. I was even slightly concerned since I felt so fine and everyone told me that it would be really hard. I headed for my bag, grabbed my car keys, and instantly started crying really hard. I was leaving! It was for real! My keys were in my hand!! I said a quick goodbye to Marcus, who was just waking up. I just kept staring at him and he just stared back. Then it was time to go.
I have about a 30 commute to work. It worked out well. It gave me 15 minutes to cry my eyes out and then another 15 minutes to get myself straightened out and looking like I hadn't been crying my eyes out. Thank goodness that I wasn't the one who had to take Marcus to day care. I would have been clinging to the teacher's leg screaming, "Don't make me go!!"
Work was really surreal. I got a promotion while I was on leave (no clue how not going to work gets me promoted) so everything was different. I used to work in satellite offices but now I am in the main office. I used to spend a large portion of the day chatting with coworkers and doing things that I probably shouldnt mention on a public forum. Those days are definitely over. People in the main office work. They work from the minute they get in until the minute they leave. I was quite perplexed at 5 minutes until quitting time when I looked around the room and everyone was still working away. I am so thankful that this is the case. Had I had to return to my old position where I had more idle time, I would have spent the day thinking about Marcus, being sad, and thinking how pointless it was to be there doing nothing when I could be with my little boy instead. I called Marcus's school around lunchtime and got a really quick and dirty report that ended up being of little use. When quitting time hit, I was running out the door.
Marcus was getting changed when I arrived at the day care. He saw me and started waving madly. A few seconds passed and then he was crying hysterically. Finally his diaper was secure, his pants were back on, and he was in my arms much more content. He had a bit of a rough day.
Greg had no problem dropping him off. He set Marcus down, gave him a few toys and Marcus was ready to play. Greg was out the door. I don't know the great details but I am guessing that after a little while Marcus decided he had enough and was not too thrilled with the fact that he was still there and we weren't there with him. He tried to leave, scooting his way to the door. Eventually he resorted to crying to the point of exhausting himself and falling asleep for a half hour or so, much earlier than he normally naps. They did get a few smiles out of him during the day. The normal nap time didn't go so well either, probably in part because he napped in the morning and he usually doesn't. He did finally fall asleep and slept for about a half hour. (He usually naps for about 2 hours.) Also, he wouldn't eat. For his morning snack he had 1 spoonful of applesauce and no juice. He had a few bites of lunch. The teacher asked me when I came to pick him up if he normally feeds himself. Apart from things that must be fed via spoon, he self-feeds exclusively. She said that the only time he would eat it is if they spoon fed him. Poor guy.
I was really sad on the ride home knowing that Marcus had a miserable day. I know it will get easier for him. Once he gets more comfortable there and things aren'y so new, he will be eating and sleeping like a champ.
We had some fun playtime when we got home and he was very interested in "walking" everywhere. (He can only walk while holding on to my hands.) Apparently he wants to be like all the big kids in his class already. Maybe that influence is also what made him attempt to do all the things this evening that he knows he isn't allowed to do.
All in all, we survived and we are going to do it all over again tomorrow. Greg asked Marcus tonight if he was still going to love Daddy when Daddy dropped him off at day care tomorrow. Right on cue, Marcus stuck his hands up in the air as if to say, "I don't know."
I have about a 30 commute to work. It worked out well. It gave me 15 minutes to cry my eyes out and then another 15 minutes to get myself straightened out and looking like I hadn't been crying my eyes out. Thank goodness that I wasn't the one who had to take Marcus to day care. I would have been clinging to the teacher's leg screaming, "Don't make me go!!"
Work was really surreal. I got a promotion while I was on leave (no clue how not going to work gets me promoted) so everything was different. I used to work in satellite offices but now I am in the main office. I used to spend a large portion of the day chatting with coworkers and doing things that I probably shouldnt mention on a public forum. Those days are definitely over. People in the main office work. They work from the minute they get in until the minute they leave. I was quite perplexed at 5 minutes until quitting time when I looked around the room and everyone was still working away. I am so thankful that this is the case. Had I had to return to my old position where I had more idle time, I would have spent the day thinking about Marcus, being sad, and thinking how pointless it was to be there doing nothing when I could be with my little boy instead. I called Marcus's school around lunchtime and got a really quick and dirty report that ended up being of little use. When quitting time hit, I was running out the door.
Marcus was getting changed when I arrived at the day care. He saw me and started waving madly. A few seconds passed and then he was crying hysterically. Finally his diaper was secure, his pants were back on, and he was in my arms much more content. He had a bit of a rough day.
Greg had no problem dropping him off. He set Marcus down, gave him a few toys and Marcus was ready to play. Greg was out the door. I don't know the great details but I am guessing that after a little while Marcus decided he had enough and was not too thrilled with the fact that he was still there and we weren't there with him. He tried to leave, scooting his way to the door. Eventually he resorted to crying to the point of exhausting himself and falling asleep for a half hour or so, much earlier than he normally naps. They did get a few smiles out of him during the day. The normal nap time didn't go so well either, probably in part because he napped in the morning and he usually doesn't. He did finally fall asleep and slept for about a half hour. (He usually naps for about 2 hours.) Also, he wouldn't eat. For his morning snack he had 1 spoonful of applesauce and no juice. He had a few bites of lunch. The teacher asked me when I came to pick him up if he normally feeds himself. Apart from things that must be fed via spoon, he self-feeds exclusively. She said that the only time he would eat it is if they spoon fed him. Poor guy.
I was really sad on the ride home knowing that Marcus had a miserable day. I know it will get easier for him. Once he gets more comfortable there and things aren'y so new, he will be eating and sleeping like a champ.
We had some fun playtime when we got home and he was very interested in "walking" everywhere. (He can only walk while holding on to my hands.) Apparently he wants to be like all the big kids in his class already. Maybe that influence is also what made him attempt to do all the things this evening that he knows he isn't allowed to do.
All in all, we survived and we are going to do it all over again tomorrow. Greg asked Marcus tonight if he was still going to love Daddy when Daddy dropped him off at day care tomorrow. Right on cue, Marcus stuck his hands up in the air as if to say, "I don't know."
posted by Annie and Greg @ 7:14 PM
2 comments
2 Comments:
Congrats on the promotion!
Sorry the little guys first day of "school" was a bit rough- but he'll start to enjoy it soon enough...
You don't know me, but I just had to tell you that I know firsthand the heartbreak of the first few days back to work--I've done it twice! It's so hard and so sad and so weird, but at least for me, it got a lot easier after about a week. Your little one will adjust, I promise, and if he's like my girls, he will thrive. But those early days of stolen sobs in the car and work bathroom seem to go on and on and on...
Anyway, just had to tell you that you're not alone and that it will get easier!!!
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