non-Mommy Brain

If you are a mom, you have probably heard of and suffered from Mommy Brain. It is when you just have so much on your mind thinking about and taking care of your kids, you end up doing really dumb stuff. I've had my fair share of Mommy Brain but it seems lately I have been suffering more from non-Mommy Brain. I'm organized. Sometimes obsessively so. I know what I am doing at this point when I leave the house with my two kids. Rarely anymore do I forget something because I finally have realized to just take everything because you can never be over prepared when you are leaving the house with kids. My problem now seems to be leaving the house without the kids. Maybe my head is just so excited for the freedom of not needing to lug the kitchen sink with me or maybe I am pumped full of adrenaline because I have two less people to be completely and totally responsible for. Whatever it is, I turn into a complete idiot. Yesterday I headed out alone to meet up with my knitting friends for an afternoon of knitting and eating and socializing and me suffering from non-Mommy Brain the entire time. Let's review.

9:00 am - Make cookies to share with knitting friends.
11:30 am - Place cookies in a container and place the container on the edge of the counter to take with me to knitting.
11:45 am - Print out directions to the hostess's house and make a mental note to get directions on my way out the door.
12:00 pm - Get out of pj's and ready to go knit.
12:15 pm - Say goodbye to everyone and start heading out the door. Knowing how problematic this can be I run through a mental checklist. Purse. Check. Knitting bag. Check. iPod. Check. Keys. Check. Cell phone. Check.
12:16 pm - Realize I forgot to put a coat on and it is 16 degrees outside. Put on coat and head down to the garage.
12:17 pm - Realize the girl hosting knitting has cats and I didn't take allergy medicine. Back upstairs to find allergy medicine.
12:20 pm - Get into the car with everything I need and head down the street.
12:22 pm - Realize about 200 feet down the street that I forgot to grab the directions on my way out the door. Turn around.
12:26 pm - Got the directions and head up the driveway.
12:27 pm - Reach the top of the driveway and realize my cookies I baked are still on the counter. Call Greg from my cell phone and ask him to run them out to me.
12:29 pm - Leave for the final time and decide if there is anything else I forgot that is just too bad.
1:15 pm - Decide not to follow the directions that I printed out and turn left early which, thankfully, only means I have to drive around the big circular street and not that I was totally lost.
1:17 pm - Arrive at knitting.
1:17 pm - 4:00 pm - Knit too little and eat too much. Mostly though I just tell lots of jokes and make lots of comments that I think are hilarious but all the people within ear shot of me don't get my constant sarcasm and think that I am completely rude and insensitive and I manage to insult everyone in the room. (Amanda thinks I am funny though because she is just as much of a jerk as I am and gets me.)
4:00 pm - Begin leaving knitting, 30 minutes after I had originally planned on doing so.
4:02 pm - While in mid sentence, talking to Cara, I manage to forget that the entire driveway is a sheet of ice. I slip and fall right on my bum. Not hurt in the least, but just laughing hysterically, I lose all control of my limbs and almost fall again trying to get up.
4:03 pm - Still brushing the snow off of me.
4:05 pm - Head down the road.
4:10 pm - Stop for gas and realize I left the rest of the cookies and the container they were in on the table at knitting. Call Amanda and ask her to grab them and make a plan to get them to Greg at work the following day since Amanda and Greg work for the same company.
5:10 pm - After driving through a snow storm and witnessing several cars that slipped on the icy roads, return home and my non-Mommy Brain episode is over.