All About Adoption
Apparently I am going to be a bad adoptive parent. I was reading a magazine I get called "Adoptive Families". The most recent issue features information about raising Latino kids. As I was reading through it I kept thinking how I haven't really thought about many of the issues that were discussed. The article went on and on about the importance Latino adoptees learning Spanish to provide them with that tie to their culture. I don't know Spanish. I don't plan on sending my kids to an immersion education program. So, apparently, my kids will grow up with a completely confused identity because I am a bad adoptive parent.
Stupid magazine.
Today we headed off to the library for story time. Most of the time I am oblivious to the fact that my kids don't look like me. They just look like my kids, whether those features match mine or not, I really don't notice. Sometimes it occurs to me though that other people might notice. As I was sitting among all these other moms, grandmas, and caretakers, the thought crossed my mind that perhaps they just think I am a caretaker. It was a sad thought really, to think that these people might not realize that these two fabulous boys were 100% my sons. Well, whatever. After story time was over, I took Marcus and Will to another area of the library so they could play with some toys. One of the grandmothers that was in the story time asked me how close in age my sons were. This simple question just made me so happy. I'm not even sure I can explain it really. After I told her that they were 8 1/2 months apart there was not even the slightest hint of that being an odd answer. (Biologically, it would be really hard to have kids that close in age, which some people realize and start getting all weird and asking stupid questions over. You know, like, "What? How are they 8 1/2 months apart? Are you kidding?") The woman just went right on talking about how they are going to be so close and how she always wished her own kids were closer in age. It was like we were just a regular old family, not any different from any family formed through that cookie cutter equation including mom and dad and biology. Because really, we are just a normal family. It isn't like my kids are even learning Spanish!
Stupid magazine.
Today we headed off to the library for story time. Most of the time I am oblivious to the fact that my kids don't look like me. They just look like my kids, whether those features match mine or not, I really don't notice. Sometimes it occurs to me though that other people might notice. As I was sitting among all these other moms, grandmas, and caretakers, the thought crossed my mind that perhaps they just think I am a caretaker. It was a sad thought really, to think that these people might not realize that these two fabulous boys were 100% my sons. Well, whatever. After story time was over, I took Marcus and Will to another area of the library so they could play with some toys. One of the grandmothers that was in the story time asked me how close in age my sons were. This simple question just made me so happy. I'm not even sure I can explain it really. After I told her that they were 8 1/2 months apart there was not even the slightest hint of that being an odd answer. (Biologically, it would be really hard to have kids that close in age, which some people realize and start getting all weird and asking stupid questions over. You know, like, "What? How are they 8 1/2 months apart? Are you kidding?") The woman just went right on talking about how they are going to be so close and how she always wished her own kids were closer in age. It was like we were just a regular old family, not any different from any family formed through that cookie cutter equation including mom and dad and biology. Because really, we are just a normal family. It isn't like my kids are even learning Spanish!
posted by Annie and Greg @ 1:48 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
That's OK. I'm sure my kids will grow up really confused, too. If it will make you feel better, I'll burn you copies of the MUZZY Spanish DVDs. Your parental stock might go up a little bit ;-) I let my subscription lapse. I realize that there are important issues that we should/need to address as adoptive parents, but at this point the only one I want to address is bringing Sophia home and getting the chance to be a regular old mom to my son and daughter. And anyway, I don't like being told how to do my job, so it's probably a good thing I didn't receive that particular issue.
If I knew more Spanish, I'd start talking to your kids in Spanish.
FWIW, R grew up with his Korean mother and she failed to teach him a word of Korean (unless you count food dishes), which I think is a little sad, actually.
I often take some of our daycare kids with me on errands and am always asked if they are mine. People probably think the same about you, fortunately.
Gail
PS You are going to be a great Mom!
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